Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
