ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
