Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.

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(941): View more from Florida

Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

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(752): View more from California

i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.

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(706): View more from Georgia

What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died

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