I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
