community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
