Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
