I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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