She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
