Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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