Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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