Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
