True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
