im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
