No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
