I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
