That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this just has baby written all over it
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
