Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
