She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
