Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
