I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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