You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
