Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
