You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
