well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
