that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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