just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
