they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
