u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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