She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
