hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My feet surprised me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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