it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
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Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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