Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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