she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
