I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
