You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
