It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
