I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
