dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize