marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
