There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
