well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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