i wish my penis had a tongue
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
