I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
