i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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