you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize