Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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