I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
