I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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