I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize