im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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