it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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