I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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