i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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