2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
