If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
