i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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