elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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