You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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