I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
