i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
