I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
