remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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