it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
