he wants to bone in the snuggie
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
