the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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