i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize