Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
