Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
