I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
