I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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