Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
